Comfort 12/16/2010
 
If God knows every possibility, and the consequences of each choice that free will brings, then he can be trusted to guide me to the possiblity that I can't see, but which is the best of the options of all the choices I can make from here, if I ask him.

And I do.

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 Scene: Two teenage girls are talking in the comfortable chairs by the window

Teen Girl 1: (Relaying a story about the guy that got away) I was literally crushed.
Teen Girl 2: (Nodding sympathetically)
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Manicurist: (Blinking furiously)
Me: (Looking around to see if anyone else is witnessing this phenomenon)
Manicurist: (Taking my hand) I got my eye dilated today. I can't see a thing out of it!
Me: (Taking back my hand) Oh! Yeah, that's the worst. Routine eye exam?
Manicurist: (Taking my hand again) I have glaucoma.
Me: (Feeling the urge to pull my hand away, but sucking it up) Oh.
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Oooh! Cookies! ...I really shouldn't though...I just can't... What's this? A note?
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LOL!
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You know that horrific slump between living like a lazy slob and working it out at the gym? Yeah...
So here we go; round 2079. I'll keep you posted.
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Have you ever seen those coffee stands with huge signs that read, "BIKINI BARISTAS!" or "HOT GIRLS!" or "ITS NIPPY OUTSIDE, AND IN HERE TOO"? Me too, I see them frequenlty on my way to the real coffee shop. (Starbucks. Hello?) But this particular day there were no such signs and unfortunately leaving my Dad's house in Bonney Lake with a headache and a caffine deficiancy was not going to cut it,  and so I did what any reasonable person would do. I sucked it up and drove up to the all-pink, unmarked coffee hut....with my daughter in the back seat.

I'm not sure what surprised me more, the mostly naked woman that appeared in the window, or the reasonable prices for coffee. We're talking half the price here! An akward conversation insued.

Naked lady: (Winking at me) Hello
Me: .....
Naked lady: What can I get you hun?
Me:... (Turning on my windshield wipers) Oh my God! You must be freezing right now!
Naked lady: No, actually, there's lots of heaters in here (Giggling)
Me: Okay, I'll have... (staring at the menu instead of her goodies) A non-fat, no whip, white chocolate mocha please
Naked lady: Sure thing!
Daughter in the back seat: Mom, can I have a cookie?
Me: No! No cookies! Just read honey okay?

Other interesting side notes:
-Monday is school girl day
-Friday is Condom Friday and you can get one for only a buck
-Tip jar says "Help me quit my second job" Hmmm. I wonder what the poor girl does on the side?
-As I drove away I wondered if leaving the tip on the reciept was appropriate, or if I was supposed to put it somewhere else.
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Now while some people wont agree with me, I think that if I'm going to get flashed by random strangers at the Walgreens drive through pharmacy, when I am minding my own business, then I have more that enough cause to whip out my camera phone and put it on my blog. Your thoughts?
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The game started with smiles, and a 40 thousand dollar loan from the bank. Whatever life had in store for me, I planned to end up on top, and since my daughter was playing, there would be plenty of opportunities to hide lectures about life in the fun, which I was very excited about. I chose the college course, recieved my student loan and moved my tiny white car with the itty-bitty pink peg to the left. There would be term papers to write and Dean's lists to make, and no bills that my loans wouldn't cover. Life was good.

Me:             Your turn Jasmine
Jasmine: (Grabbing a career card and moving her tiny red car to the right)
Me:             What are you doing?!
Jasmine:  (Looking startled) I'm moving my guy
Me:             You're not going to college?!
Jasmine:  No, I just want to get to my pay days and retirement as fast as possible.
Me:          (Eyes wide) But don't you understand that your paychecks are going to be tiny and your retirement abysmal? By the
                 time I get my first paycheck it's going to be three times bigger than yours! Plus, half of the careers you can't even
                 choose because you'll need a degree!
Jasmine: (Looking up at me with a tired look on her face) Mom... it's just a game.
Me:           I know that, but... (sighing) Okay, go.

I became an accountant with a salary of $90,000, married, had twins, won the lottery and wrote a best seller. I bought a cheap house on a fault line, and determined to set a good example for my child, purchased insurance, bought all the stocks I could afford, and repaid my loans to the bank.

Jasmine became an artist with a salary of $20,000, married, had a boatload of children and lived paycheck to paycheck. That's when I stopped paying attention. My poor child. Literally.

Obviously, Jasmine was learning a hard lesson about the value of hard work and and perseverence. She was retracing her steps and asking "what went wrong?" She was reflecting on values of middle class America and determining what road she would choose to take in life. I was just about to launch into a riviting motivational speech when I realized that everyone was staring at me.

Everyone: Go!
Me:            I just went! It's not my turn again
Jasmine: (Doing her best impression of the look I make when she says she's cleaned her room, but I've just checked and it's
                 still trashed) Mom. You're the only one left on the board.

I scan the board for the others, and I find them. They've all cashed out their pensions and are nestled comfortably in the  Cedergrove Retirement Home. My mouth gapes.

Me:            What!? How did you guys get all the way down there?!
Everyone: (looks of satisfaction and amusement)

I won The Game of Life. I had more money than anyone else and I retired at Millionaire Estates...alone.

Me:           Jasmine?
Jasmine: Yes, mom?
Me:            You know, life is about more than just making the most money and retiring in some fancy place... (grabbing a breath,
                  and
      preparing to launch into a speech)
Jasmine: Mom. (She stares at me wearly) It's just a game.
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Because I don't like shoes, and because I am blessed with the kind of feet that aren't embarrassing to look at, I often slip my shoes off under my desk and conduct class in freedom. I'm sure it must have been strange for my students at first, but they are quite intellegent and have already adjusted.

I spend the entire summer in flip flops, adjusting back into shoes takes months! Plus, I always have a new color of nailpolish to showcase and if it matches my fingernail polish then people need to know!

This is not a new habit. In elementary school the students would sit on the floor in front of me during mini-lessons and on occasion, a brazen student would reach out and poke them with there pointer finger, as if facinated by the nailpolish, or perhaps checking to see if I was real. I would stop in mid-sentence, look down appauled and say, "Do you mind?" Inevitably this would make the whole class laugh and the culprit blush and then the world moved on.

But now that students in middle school have graduated to their very own chairs, I no longer have the problem of toe touchers, which I appreciate. Occasionally, a student will acknowledge a new color, but that's pretty much it.

Mr. May's class on the other hand, is not used to seeing their teacher without his shoes on and they get quite a kick out of seeing me walking in, sans footwear, to pick up items from the printer. Recently, he calmy marched his whole class into my room in their socks. They paraded around the class in a circle without saying a word and then walked back out!  I had to admit that a valuable lesson was learned from this activity... and if you asked them what it was I'm sure they would tell you. Shoes are totally over-rated. :)
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Yes, I Did! 01/25/2010
 
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This is the step before actually hitchiking to work!
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